Weak Week 7
Happy Thursday Fantasia,
Spooky SZN is upon us (trying to appeal to a younger demographic in this Drusletter) and there are few things that frighten me more than checking my fantasy app to reveal that most of my team has taken the day off.
Seven of my ten active players performed under their projected and resulted in my taking a second L against the resurgent Overweighters. Am I happy our former champion and international icon Negro is back on the right track? Yes, but at what cost to me!?
In other Weak 7 news: Kelsey's team is hotter than the Kelce/Swift romance (another Gen Z clickbait my editor insisted I include). She put up a buck 60 against an underperforming Clint squad. If my team put up 160, I'd be doing jumping jacks, but that's just another day at the office for Kels. Twin City Griddy has emerged as the number one team in the league having only lost one game to Swiffer in week 2 which feels like an epoch ago.
JP's Penguins picked up a tight win to stay in contention while Swiffer dropped her second game against Chip who is also clinging tightly to a winning record. We reached out to Sweatpea for comment regarding her WR Chris Olave's recent troubles with the law. We have not heard back.
Contender for Fantasy GM of the year, Alden Tupy posted the week's strongest score with over 193 fantasy points against Mike's squad who just played the wrong fantasy team this week. Tupy secured both Indy runningbacks who combined to score over 35 points! A fantasy RB committee that has ruled in favor of victory! Not thrilled to be facing off against him this week.
In times of desperation, we mortal men to turn to powers we don't fully understand until it is too late. As Isildur could not destroy the one ring, I could not banish the evil Bears from my roster. As Brock Purdy has entered concussion protocol and Baker Mayfield's knee remains suspect, I turned to the very evil I once sought to destroy: The Chicago Bears and their new quarterback
I turned to the very evil I have sought to destroy. The Chicago Bears and their new quarterback. Tyson Bagent. The kid had a remarkable debut last week and I love his story, undrafted, overlooked, with the heart of a champion. Go check out the ESPN interview with his arm wrestling champion father. You're welcome.
I've never, in ten years, started a fantasy football game with two Chicago Bears, until this week. I'll need every point against Tupy or I too will be toppled.
While Kelsey stands atop the league's summit, many of us crowd around in the midfield right now. In the Weast conference, every team is still in contention. Yes! Even Mizzurah Bubba is sitting at 3-4. Hidden note for MC. I love you buddy but if you don't replace Fournette, who does not play for an NFL team currently or start another player on a bye, I'm setting you to auto sir. Tupy still leads but has only a one game margin over Chip and Clint. With an Overweighter and Penguin victory last week, they are only two games behind. Meanwhile, in the East, I'm trying to hold on to a one game leader over the Moo Moo Smashers and Sweatpea's Swiffers. Let's hope the Penguins clean her up this week!
Sidenote: could I have been more wrong to be excited for the Lions v Ravens last week? I find myself rooting for the Lions (when not playing the Pack) because I like their tenacity, see Craig Reynolds block two weeks ago, and their coach. Boy, they looked out of their depth against Lamar last week. Excited to see if the Ravens can play like that every week. If they can, they could go all the way.
To some more observant readers, you may have noticed I didn't talk about the Packers this week. That is correct.
Hopefully this football week will be better for me. I'm projected to lose by over 10 to Alden, but I've always been an underdog. Or maybe I'm just projecting.
See you next week.
Your Commish